哪位英文高手帮我检查一下这篇文章的语法

哪位英文高手帮我检查一下这篇文章的语法
这是我自己写的歌词,准备用作原创,但是鄙人不才,英文太烂.于是请高手帮忙检查一下语法正误,感激不尽.
I’m alone in the park just like a fool,
The biggest mistake is that I called you to come,
You hold me tight and told me I had drunk.
What you’ve done is really makes me surprise.
You kissed me so long and I don’t know why,
That you love me or I’m just lost my mind.
You said that it’s not the whole of my life.
I said I shouldn’t have opened my heart.
The pages keep turning,
One day you could hardly recognize my face.
So bye.So bye.
The bedroom is empty just like my brain.
I wait up for an answer all through the night.
There’s nothing but tears to cry.
You said I’m the only one who should be to blame.
I shouldn’t make any decision with tears.
So,bye.
You said that it’s not the whole of my life.
I said I shouldn’t have opened my heart.
The pages keep turning,
One day you could hardly recognize my face.
So bye.So bye.
I once thought neverland really exists
When I woke up to find that
Peter pan is just a fairy tale characters
I should have the courage to face reality
No more day dream and cry again and again and again and again and
You said that it’s not the whole of my life.
I said I shouldn’t have opened my heart.
The pages keep turning,
One day you could hardly recognize my face.
So bye.So bye.
So bye.So bye.
Bye.
I’m alone in the park just like a fool,
The biggest mistake is that I called you to come,
You held me tight and told me I had drunk.
But I still could feel the moon light and the cold.
What you’ve done really makes me surprise.
You kissed me so long and I couldn’t say why,
That you love me or I’m just lost my mind.
You said that it’s not the whole of my life.
I said I shouldn’t have opened my heart.
The pages keep turning,
One day you could hardly recognize my face.
You told me that don’t believe my eyes.
I said I should have known it is all lies.
Maybe the girl who never ask to dance,
Should smile and change her shoes.
So bye.So bye.
The bedroom is empty just like my brain.
Wait up for an answer all through the night.
You said I’m the only one who should be to blame.
I am the perfect reason for everything.
There’s nothing but tears to cry.Oh no.
I shouldn’t make any decision with tears.
So,bye.Oh oh oh bye. 1m5qda 1年前他留下的回答 已收到3个回答

xure 网友

该名网友总共回答了23个问题，此问答他的回答如下：采纳率：95.7%

括号里是正确的或要加上去的~
You held(hold) me tight and told me I had (been) drunk.(tight也可以做副词,不必要改成tightly的,我觉得tight比较好听~)
What you’ve done really makes(made) me surprise(surprised).
That you love(loved) me or I’m just lost my mind.
You kissed me so long and I couldn’t say(tell) why,(这里没有语法问题,只是用tell比较符合英语习惯)
You said that it’s(it was) not the whole of my life.
The pages keep(has kept ) turning,
You told me that don’t believe my(your) eyes.(这是她对你说的原话,注意人称)
I said I should have known it is（they were） all lies.
Wait up for(wait for) an answer all through the night.
You said I’m(was) the only one who should be to blame.
只是一些时态问题,说明你的英语还是不错的,而且句子蛮流畅的,读来朗朗上口,嗯,加油哦~!

1年前他留下的回答

10

pororo123 网友

该名网友总共回答了5个问题，此问答他的回答如下：

tight :tightly
i had drunk :i had been drunk
makes:made
surprise:surprised
i'm lost my mind:i've lst my mind

1年前他留下的回答

0

cowboypro 网友

该名网友总共回答了13个问题，此问答他的回答如下：

You hold me tight and told me I had drunk。 应该是held ，hold 的过去式
What you’ve done is really makes me surprise。 应该把is 去掉，要不就两个动词了。

1年前他留下的回答

0

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