Within and Without

Looking back on childhoods days the thing that recurs most often is the mystery which used to fill both life and world. Something undreamt of was lurking everywhere and the uppermost question every day was： when， Oh！ when would we come across it？ It was as if nature held something in her closed hands and was smilingly asking us，"What dyou think I have？" What was impossible for her to have was the thing we had no idea of.

Well do I remember the custard apple seed which I had planted and kept in a corner of the south verandah， and used to water every day. The thought that the seed might possibly grow into a tree kept me in a great state of fluttering wonder. Custard apple seeds still have the habit of sprouting， but no longer to the accompaniment of that feeling of wonder. The fault is not in the custard apple but in the mind. We had once stolen some rocks from an elder cousins rockery and started a little rockery of our own. The plants which we sowed in its interstices were cared for so excessively that it was only because of their vegetable nature that they managed to put up with it till their untimely death. Words cannot recount the endless joy and wonder which this miniature mountain-top held for us. We had no doubt that this creation of ours would be a wonderful thing to our elders also. The day that we sought to put this to the proof， however， the hillock in the corner of our room， with all its rocks， and all its vegetation， vanished. The knowledge that the schoolroom floor was not a proper foundation for the erection of a mountain was imparted so rudely， and with such suddenness， that it gave us a considerable shock. The weight of stone of which the floor was relieved settled on our minds when we realised the gulf between our fancies and the will of our elders.

How intimately did the life of the world throb for us in those days！ Earth， water， foliage and sky， they all spoke to us and would not be disregarded. How often were we struck by the poignant regret that we could only see the upper storey of the earth and knew nothing of its inner storey. All our planning was as to how we could pry beneath its dustcoloured cover. If， thought we， we could drive in bamboo after bamboo，one over the other， we might perhaps get into some sort of touch with its inmost depths.

During the Magh festival a series of wooden pillars used to be planted round the outer courtyard for supporting the chandeliers. Digging holes for these would begin on the first of Magh. The preparations for festivity are ever interesting to young folk. But this digging had a special attraction for me. Though I had watched it done year after year——and seen the hole grow bigger and bigger till the digger had completely disappeared inside， and yet nothing extraordinary， nothing worthy of the quest of prince or knight， had ever appeared—yet every time I had the feeling that the lid being lifted off a chest of mystery. I felt that a little bit more digging would do it. Year after year passed， but that bit never got done. There was a pull at the curtain but it was not drawn. The elders， thought I， can do whatever they please， why do they rest content with such shallow delving？ If we young folk had the ordering of it， the inmost mystery of the earth would no longer be allowed to remain smothered in its dust covering.

And the thought that behind every part of the vault of blue reposed the mysteries of the sky would also spur our imaginings. When our Pundit， in illustration of some lesson in our Bengali science primer， told us that the blue sphere was not an enclosure， how thunderstruck we were！ "Put ladder upon ladder，" said he， "and go on mounting away， but you will never bump your head." He must be sparing of his ladders， I opined， and questioned with a rising inflection，"And what if we put more ladders， and more， and more？" When I realised that it was fruitless multiplying ladders I remained dumbfounded pondering over the matter. Surely， I concluded， such an astounding piece of news must be known only to those who are the worlds schoolmasters！

①The mens portion of the house is the outer； and the womens the inner.

②These Bustees or settlements consisting of tumbledown hovels， existing side by side with palatial buildings， are still one of the anomalies of Calcutta. Tr.

③Corresponding to "Wonderland".

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